I never really looked beyond the University of Maine when I was considering what college I wanted to attend after high school; my father had attended it, scoring his Engineering degree a few years after marrying my mother and embarking on a life outside of the Army. I’d been to the campus on a number of occasions, and though I’d grown up on the outskirts of Portland — the largest city in the state — the idea of being crammed together with 15,000 other people in one spot seemed rather exotic. (Full disclosure: I am well aware that the flagship campus in Orono now hosts far more students these days, but back then, that was still a rather impressive number of students to be living all in one spot.)
Move-in day wound up being far more emotional than I’d expected, though; nothing quite prepares you for watching your parents pull away from the curb outside the dorm, and that sinking sensation that you are, for the first time, truly on your own. I mean, I wasn’t, of course, for there were literally hundreds of first year students going through the same thing. Still, that first awkward dinner at the Dining Commons was an evening I will never forget.
I met my roommate that same day and marveled that it was possible for two people to be the polar opposites of each other. Where I was the quiet nerd, he was the former high school star athlete, gregarious and all muscle. While I was still rather fit at that point in my life, I’d given up swimming a year earlier and the resulting workouts that would have let me match his bulk; not that it mattered, for I’d never been one to use — or be swayed by — physical intimidation. It turned into my first life lesson as a college student; finding a way to be successful in such a situation has proven extremely beneficial in my professional career.
That’s perhaps especially true in my particular field, which demands people of varying talents and specializations come together to solve thorny problems crossing multiple disciplines. I honed my ability to work with disparate personalities in the crucible of that dorm room, and then later, in the endless series of group projects my upper division courses required for my degree. I found that leadership came in many forms, from quiet moments prodding a recalcitrant team member to action to times where a more vocal vision needed to be espoused; understanding the situation, and reading the room properly became part of my success toolkit, tools that I still use today.
Thinking about the dorm reminds me of the smells and the fantastic custodian who had the thankless task of cleaning up each morning after the young men of my wing spent yet another night carousing about campus; seeing her, hose in hand, literally washing down the bathroom has stuck with me to this day, along with her gentle smile and kind words. She’d been there far longer than I knew, and seemed to have this perfect sense of just when one of us needed a bit of a pick-me-up. In my time on campus, I met many people like her, including the grandmother who swiped my meal card twice a day and the hairnet wearing cook who proudly walked the buffet line each and every meal, taking note of what we were eating (and what was left behind).
I discovered the internet by accident when one of my courses invited someone from the Computer Center to talk to us about this nascent idea of computers being connected to each other all over the world; considering the closest I’d ever come to that was seeing the Banyan Vines network at my father’s office, I was, to say the least, intrigued and marched myself down to the Computer Center to get myself an account. That I had to also book time on one of the terminals seemed like a minor inconvenience, though to be honest, simply surfing the various chat groups, news feeds and library databases was initially underwhelming. Less than five years later, I was one of the beta testers for what would become the Microsoft Network, a competitor to the then-dominate America Online; in ten, I had a cable modem at my house and was sending email to friends in California.
Sadly, I was only able to spend a year on campus; as with most things, the price went up for the privilege, and the mix of scholarships and self-funding I had at the time could only go so far. Still, I spent my final days on the Orono campus soaking up all it had to offer, from the rooftop solarium on my dorm to the quiet corners of the main library where I could do homework in peace; the plays and movies and musical groups that came though exposed me to the arts in ways that made me a fan for life — especially music, for it was in Orono I discovered jazz. I wish now I could remember what my final meal at the commons had been, though I suspect it was a nice salad accompanied by whatever the hot dish of the day was on offer. I do remember the room was rather empty, a result of the fact that I’d been forced to stay to the final day due to the finals schedule; that the campus was as empty at the end as it had been the day I moved in seemed like the perfect bookends to my time there.
I spent the next three years commuting from my parent’s home to the University of Southern Maine, finishing out my degree while working an ungodly amount of hours in retail to help pay for everything. It was an interesting juxtaposition to the (seemingly) more relaxed lifestyle I’d enjoyed at the Orono campus, though in the end, those final years taught me time management skills that continue to stand me in good stead. I’ve often heard that collegiate athletes have the same challenges, though honestly, how anyone could spend twenty hours or more at the pool and try and keep their GPA up seems like it would be impossible. (Vas and Sean, of course, were superior scholar-athletes, though I do wonder how much their social life might have suffered. Well, maybe not Vas.)
My brothers went into the service after high school, and there, too, learned life skills that have turned them into the finest people I’ve ever known. It’s further proof that we often take what we need to from experiences life presents to us — and that they affect us in ways we don’t realize until many years later.